Spencer's Super-Happy Fun-Time Right-Wing Word Pit

2. Screenwriters live in a dank basement and are shackled to typewriters. If you strip away all the CG, lighting, actors, models, etc. - you find a pretty good story line and great characters. The screen writers for this series of movies did a good job coming up with a captivating plot. In the 3rd movie, they tie it all together and make sense of the the series as a trilogy. But it's been glossed over in favor of 'splosions, potty humor, and hot chicks. The first movie finds the bad guys trying to find their leader and wake him from his ice-coma. To do this they need the Hell-Raiser puzzle cube. Once he is awakened - Megatron tries to get the cube. Since that failed, he enters into a deal with the Fallen (in the second movie) to find the Matrix of leadership which has the same qualities as the cube. The third movie ties them in - Megatron's tried to get these items to wake Spock-bot who lies dormant on the dark side of the moon in order to bring about the rebirth of his home planet. He tricks the good guys into waking him up only to have him betray them and join forces with agent Smith Megatron. Great story. Then you have characters like the ousted X-Files agent and his crew of hard and information - the young soldier who finds himself mixed-up in the whole thing, rising through the ranks to run the show, etc. All mixed in with the fact that the government knew and missions to the moon, Mars were all to document big robot aliens and was then covered up by a secret society loyaly to their new robot overlords. But you don't see any of this because the whole movie looks like it was shot by the producers of Robot Chicken. Fart jokes, robot farting, humping, masturbation jokes, 'splosions, BurAAAAH! WOOOSH! SpadOOOM!!! There's so much distraction from the story. Since it's California, the only explanation is that the writers are still alive is that they are waiting for their background checks to come back so they can buy guns to kill themselves with.

3. Inept people. So the bad guys seal off Chicago and start roaming the streets killing everyone. So what do the people of Chicago do - well 2 days later, they are freely wandering the streets and being randomly killed. Why are they still out and not hiding if they know what's going on? Because Bay will not kill main characters and people look good dying.

4. Inept Military. So the bad guys seal off Chicago and start roaming the streets killing everyone. They also set up some sweet portal stuff to enact their master plan. Back in their command HQ - the people in charge lament that they cannot get eyes on the ground explaining that the bad guys have complete air superiority and shoot down every plane, jet, drone that they send in. Meanwhile, Shia and his army buddies just walk in unnoticed. On top of that, when the military decides to go in to provide support - they insert their team... ready?