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I don't really care if you agree or not. Just saying what I think.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

A Plan to Lower Gas Prices

Posted by L S. "Spencer" Olsen at 1:57 AM

Gas prices. I was doing some research on the Obama plan for gas prices and I came upon a lot of articles from the media claiming that the ongoing spike in prices was not Obama's fault and anyone saying so is perpetuating a myth. Well, well, welllllll-uh! Let us look into some fact and see what exactly IS driving the price of gas, shall we?


First of all, let's discuss where gas prices come from. Gas prices are a result of several things. The price of oil, the cost to refine it into gas, shipping, and taxes. We all know that taxes on fuel are pretty high and shipping is like eating yourself - costs gas to ship gas. Refineries are operating at capacity and the EPA has made it near impossible to build any new one which is probably why only 1 permit was ever requested in the last 40 years. Then there's the price of the oil. Where does this price come from? Why market speculators, of course.

Market speculators guess what the price is going to be based on certain economic factors - factors like the value of the dollar and the abundance or shortage of supply.

What has Obama done to help the speculators stay at ease and speculate lower prices?

I present to you "Obama's Fantastic Oil-Price-Lowering To-Do List"
  1. Pick a fight with investors. Obama has created a special task force to crack-down on speculators (read: investors) who are moving the price of oil up. Kind of like OJ going out to look for the real killer.
  2. Pick a fight with the oil industry. Nothing says lower prices like taxing the butt-sauce out of the oil companies. Obama wants to destroy all tax incentives for oil companies. Apparently if the oil companies have less money they will charge less for their oil.
  3. Pick a fight with the automobile industry. Good idea, let's over-regulate fuel standards so that those alternative fuel cars will stay nice and cheap. Because forcing a car manufacturer to sink millions of dollars into research for better fuel economy in a restricted amount of time means savings for America on electric cars.
  4. Eliminate our dependence on foreign oil by stopping the production of an inter-continental pipeline. I guess the only way to stop being dependent on other continents for oil is to stop using our own.
  5. De-valuate our currency by printing more and record deficit spending. This one kind of explains itself.
  6. Tell the country to use less, reduce demand and reduce prices. I guess his majesty doesn't keep up with trends. Travel is down nation wide so we are pretty much only using as much gas as we need to now. Way to go, moron.
  7. Keep those reserves locked up. Look, we know that there is enough oil to go around, but if you release some of the reserves, the investors get happy and the price goes down. Sometimes, Obama, it's about appearances.
There you have it. A truly successful plan. We should at least give Obama the credit that he deserves. After all, it takes a lot of guts to be this stupid in public.


 

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