Spencer's Super-Happy Fun-Time Right-Wing Word Pit

Dear Kansas City Idiot,

Thanks. No really, I mean it. Thank you for possibly ending the most entertaining thing about the KC Royals with your stupid lawsuit. We all know that the Royals suck. In fact, they suck so bad that their manager once disappeared in the middle of the season the sent in a resignation letter. The only reason to go to a game is to see this guy:

...act like a complete idiot and throw crap at people like t-shirts and hot-dogs. Now that's gonna be over. Thanks a lot for ruining it for the rest of us!

What were you thinking?!?! So you were hit in the eye by a hot-dog and now have a cataract or something. Big deal. You obviously couldn't see anyway, how else do you explain your complete lack of attention to the only action at the "baseball" game? What was so important that you couldn't look up? Hmmmmm?!?!? Were you recording player stats? 'Cause if you were, that's a lie unless you were trying to get your 0's perfectly round! Or are you just that curmudgeon who hates the t-shirt cannon, puppies, and a child's laughter? If that's the case... oh well... you got what you deserved. And if not for failing to look up, then for making this the basis of your lawsuit,

Really?!?!?! Can't throw hot-dogs right? Please enlighten us, oh wise one! How do you throw a hot-dog properly? No really, we need to know, because obviously there is a right way to chuck food at people. Underhand? Slow pitch? Do I need to hand it to you? I can't wait to find out how.

So what will be the consequences of this ill-fated lawsuit? Easy.