Spencer's Super-Happy Fun-Time Right-Wing Word Pit

I've noticed that USA Today has been running a story on JFK and how awesome he was and how awesome his legacy is. What's cool is that this article does a lot to compare the Obama presidency with the JFK legacy. What makes that even more awesome? What I learned from the internet.

What I learned from the internet is that way back then, Democrats were conservatives and Republicans were Liberal. It's true. Every time you talk about the Democrats' filibuster of the Civil Rights Act the internet will tell you the aforementioned fact. If you take that logic for what it is, then JFK was a Conservative. But if you make the argument, you can find out that JFK was a liberal, LBJ was a conservative, Nixon was a conservative, but all Democrats that voted against Civil Rights were liberal. Does that make sense to you? Me neither...

I am willing to take the ideological shift based on the fact that LBJ, a Republican gave us Medicare and Medicaid and pandered to hippies while JFK gave us tax cuts, foreign wars we couldn't win, loved the death penalty, and immigration reform. But you can have your Civil Rights assertions because you have to look deeper at the opposition and when you do, you find that it only came from the south and was bi-partisan.

What was I talking about - oh yeah; JFK in USA Today. Bottom line, it looks like a "Help the failing Dems" media tactic. Happens every election.

On torture.

I have noticed lately that Hollywood's torture method of choice is water boarding. Yeah, that's right. Just watch any movie made in the last 5 years and you will see water boarding used every time information is to be extracted from someone. It is always fast, violent, and harsh looking. You see, H'wood wants us to see how horrible it is, the power of suggestion will imprint just how awful this practice is into our brains and how evil Bush was for using it. It will forever scar us into believing that water-boarding is quite possibly the worst form of torture imaginable. I for one am glad that they finally found a form of torture that could disturb us. Imagine being laid on your back, a towel over your face while someone pours water on it. It makes me shudder to think about it. It certainly beats all those wuss forms of torture that the movies used to have. Things like:

Dipping you into a pool of leaches

Hanging you up-side down

Blow torches

Hooking you up to electricity (you know, on the mattress springs while a large Russian turns the dial)

Cutting you

Shooting your knee caps

Smashing your toes with a hammer

Hot fireplace pokers

You know, there are more, but why waste my time with such paltry torture methods. All are weak in comparison to a towel and a bucket of water.

Katy Perry...

Your albums are riddled with Parental Advisories, you appear naked on the cover of one of them, and your songs are primarily about sex. Listen up, because I am only going to say this once...

NO CHILD OF SESAME STREET AGE SHOULD BE WATCHING YOU PROMOTE LEARNING LET ALONE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU AND YOUR SONGS HAVE SET BACK THE WOMEN'S MOVEMENT IN THIS COUNTRY BY GIVING CREDENCE TO MISOGYNY. SHUT UP AND PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON.

Sesame Street...

Shame on you hippies for even filming that woman anyway. Kids should not be introduced to role models such as her. She promotes promiscuity and in no way empowers women.

That is all...