Memorial Day
-
“Happy Memorial Day “ seems to be all you hear in the week prior to
Memorial Day. When the very definition of memorial is to remember, it seems
odd to say ...
9 years ago
- L S. "Spencer" Olsen
- I don't really care if you agree or not. Just saying what I think.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Scene: President Obama sits alone in The Oval Office. He is reviewing his next speech and going over paperwork. Suddenly, a brilliant flash of red, blue, and white light mixed with fog is accented by a clap of thunder. 2 men appear from the fog. As the lighting bears back to normal and the fog dissipates, Obama sees his visitors. Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Jefferson. They stand magnificently, almost glowing - their faces worn with history and their countenance bearing the weight of the country. They stand. Obama Rises to meet them eagerly.
Obama: Oh my! I can't believe my eyes! Abraham Lincoln! ...and your house servant!
Jefferson: Actually, I'm Thomas Jefferson.
Obama: That's what I said. Wow! You two! In my office! What an honor. Can I offer either of you a cigarette?
Lincoln: Well... no... act...
Obama: Well, then - how about a beer? hmmm?
Jefferson: No, thank you. We actually came to see how things are going with our country.
Obama: Oh man! Things are going great!! We're working on healthcare right now.
Jefferson: Healthcare?
Obama: Yeah! You know what healthcare is! It is a right, clearly spelled out in the Constitution. Duh!
Jefferson: Um.. I don...
Obama: Oh! Mr. Lincoln. I can't believe that you are here. I have always wanted to meet you. I am your biggest fan.
Lincoln: Why thank you.
Obama: I always wanted to thank you for what you did for my people.
Lincoln: But isn't your mom white and your dad a Kenyan citi...
Obama: I'm President Obama.
Lincoln: Right. ...how are relations with the southern states these days?
Obama: Well, it's the south. It's still full of ignorant rednecks, but we are doing our best to put them in their place. We are trying even now to limit what they can say and do publicly.
Lincoln: But...
Obama: Yeah they are all being brainwashed by talk radio, religious leaders, Fox news and we are working to limit the brainwashing with the fairness doctrine and limits on religious expression and I have people here who are working to destroy Fox news.
Jefferson: Hey now wait a minute!!! (Lincoln puts a hand on Jefferson's shoulder to calm him down)
Obama: Yep. Things are going great.
Jefferson: (through his teeth) How's the economy going?
Obama: Well, as you know... every president before me really screwed it up with their pro-capitalist legislation and tax cuts.
Jefferson: Huh?
Obama: Yeah! We are in debt pretty bad right now; our taxation is small but we are working to improve things.
Lincoln: So you are trying to help out the businesses?
Jefferson: Cutting taxes?
Jefferson: Cutting taxes?
Obama: Heck no! Of course not! We've got those evil capitalists on the run. We are working to raise taxes, increase costs for employers, and generally increase the cost of doing business with programs like Universal Healthcare and Cap & Trade. Heck, we even bought the banks and automotive industry! How cool is that?!?
Lincoln: The US Government owns businesses?!
Obama: Absolutely. It's for the best. We can't allow these people to keep making money off the backs of the citizens. In fact, my pay Czar...
Jefferson: CZAR!!!!
Obama: Yes. My pay czar is working on a plan now to cut executive salaries in the companies we own by up to 90%
Lincoln: Mr. Obama... with all due respect... you know that if you cut those salaries you won't collect as much tax. You know, as you clearly pointed out you were trying to do...
Obama: I'm President Obama.
Jefferson: Right. Well it was nice to meet you. Come one Abey let's get the heck out of here...
Lincoln: Right behind you.
Lights flash and the fog rises again as the two figures disappear into the walls. Obama sits, now alone with his thoughts, amazed at what he has just witnessed. Michelle enters the room, concerned about hearing the ruckus.
Michelle: Ha-ay! ya'll ai'ght!
Obama: Yes! You wouldn't believe it if I told you. Abraham Lincoln was here and he brought his house servant!
0 Comments:
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
